Part 3, Chapter 2: A sure way to making enemies – and how to avoid it.

Principle: Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “you’re wrong.”

This chapter is a nice follow up to the previous chapter of how to avoid arguments.

If we can’t be sure that we’re right 55% of the time, who are we to tell someone else they’re wrong? As much as it pains us to admit, no one (including us) is right all the time.

If you tell someone they’re wrong, they most likely won’t change their mind to agree with you. Even if you’re right, you struck a blow at their pride and ego. When you challenge them in that way, it arouses their opposition and makes them want to battle you.

Example: Your parents. As an adult, how many times have you tried to tell you’re parents something that you know is right, yet they rarely will agree with you. They will stay stubborn in their ways. (Until they see something about it on Facebook coming from anyone but you).

It’s so similar to the previous chapters in part 2. When you come at someone angry, they will match your energy.

So what should we do?

Here is some wording the author suggests using to start the conversation where you might be disagreeing with someone:

“I thought otherwise– I may be wrong, and I often am, if so, I want to put it right. Let’s look at the facts.”

I see how that sentence may seem a little old school. So let’s bring it to modern times. Maybe try something like, “Oh, I was under the impression that it was ___. Where did you find that out? I’d like to clarify.” Basically translate it to however you use words.

Now let’s look at it from a business perspective.
Let’s say you’re a master at social media marketing. If you’re trying to get clients, you’re not going to email or call them and say, “Hey your social media feed is trash. Lucky for you, I’m an expert. Want to hire me to fix it?”

How many clients do you think you’ll get that way?

The author quotes Lord Chesterfield, “Be wiser than other people fi you can; but do not tell them so.”

• Be diplomatic
• Don’t argue
• Be cooperative

– Angela