Part 2: 6 ways to make people like you.

Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.

“You can make friends in 2 months by becoming genuinely interested in people than you can in 2 years by trying to get people interested in you.”

It seems pretty straight forward, yet why do people tend to get it wrong?

Similar to the themes of previous chapters, the author reminds us that people are most interested in themselves.

Alfred Adler wrote, “It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.”

The author follows this quote with an example about President Roosevelt. Even when he was no longer president, whenever he visited the White House, he would greet the staff by their first name, checking in with them, remembering them and their interests. This simple showing of interest made him likable even after his presidency.

The author also mentions how he himself would make it a point to remember the birthdays of all his friends and send them a small card to say Happy Birthday. That simple gesture made such a difference in how people connected with him.

If we want to make friends, do things for others that require time, energy, selflessness. Greet people with animation and enthusiasm.

Again, this seems pretty obvious. Basically, don’t be rude. But the effort we have to put, as selfish people to do this, is what makes great leaders stand out amongst the rest. They take the time to get to know the people around them, care about them, and do the things that require their time an energy.

People see that. They take note and notice the energy, or lack of energy, you put into the friendship, relationship, workplace, anywhere.

If you’re on the receiving end of getting that birthday card in the mail, you know the time it took for that person to write it, drop it off at the post office, and mail it. They wouldn’t do all those steps if they didn’t care.

Especially in today’s time when it’s easier to send a text message or write to someone on Facebook – these tangible things can help you stand out and show genuine interest in that person.

Another example I thought of with this chapter is people who are “regulars” at a coffee shop or restaurant. The type where the employees know their name and even memorize their order. Why do you think they get that special treatment? They’re probably 1) a nice person and 2) show genuine interest in the employees.

It’s not just because they come in every day or every week. I’m sure there are plenty of other ‘regulars’ who don’t get that type of treatment because they don’t do anything other than ask for what they want. (Again, only interested in themselves).

So whether you’re trying to be a great leader, or just a better person, try to make that extra effort to show genuine interest in someone.

“We are interested in others when they are interested in us.” – Roman Poet Pubilus Syrus.