The Antidote

If chapter one was about how we can fall into traps regarding comparing ourselves and trying to live a perfect and rosy life, chapter two slides a bit of a solution. But it also points out other triggers to an unhappy parenthood. Comparison and Pride.

Comparison kills joy and does not allow for us to enjoy partnership. Partnership with other parents and our own partner at home. Pride makes us try to look better than others. Pride is confidence on the outside but insecurity in the inside. Pride makes us believe that we are better than others, that we know everything. I liked when the author did the comparison of Pride = I’m better than others, Confidence = I am capable. No comparison on the second one. Humility > Pride. Humility helps us learn. Pride = I know it all.

The trap is to work towards an image. We can fall in the fear of judgement and criticism from others. I also like when she mentioned “Worry gives small things a big shadow”. I tell the kids all the time “it is ok to be scared”. But, in this specific case, we can also have the courage to understand and accept imperfections.

Honesty begets honesty. This one kinda got me. I was like “are you sure?” but the more I thought about it the more it convinced me. It is almost like sleeping. You get a bad night of sleep, a nap does wonders. If you are honest with people, more than likely they will tend to be honest with you.

To close the chapter, the reiteration. Insecurity keeps us looking at other people and comparing. She gives examples about food and organization. We compare how the food is on the “instagram moms’” reels. How the houses look organized. You are not the same and shouldn’t either. The other heavy hitter was “Do not impose your opinion on others”. I’ve seen that one a lot. I am even guilty of that one. Thinking that my way of doing things is better… fool.

As you may have noticed, this book is a christian book. I am not christian so try to keep it as neutral as possible. But one thought that I like and I will use the word that she uses, Grace. Grace when we deserve punishment. But instead we get forgiveness. When we approach parenthood in Grace, we are saying that it is OK to fail. Feeding the kids PB&J for dinner is OK.

Denny

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