Part 4, Chapter 2: How to criticize- and not be hated for it

Principle: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly

The author starts this chapter with an example of Charles Schwab catching employees smoking on the job. Instead of getting upset and reminding them of the rule, he gave them each a cigar and said, “I’d appreciate it if you smoked these outside.” The employees knew they broke a rule, but appreciated the way he came about it.

At the same time, we can understand that other times might take a more direct approach. My assumption here would be if those employees kept smoking inside after being reminded multiple times, they wouldn’t be reminded so kindly.

Personal example: my kids. If they’re playing in a spot they shouldn’t be, I’ll try something like, “That looks like a great game to play in your room.” Does it always work? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Kids are tough.

When delivering criticism, there is a 3 letter word that destroys the intention. The word but.

Any time you hear a statement followed by, ‘but,’ you know it’s not something positive or something that will end well. Avoid using it at all costs.

Example, “You did great work here, BUT, it’d be better this way.” The ‘but’ in that sentence seems to just cross out the former compliment.

Rewording it to be, “You did great work here. How would it look if we did it this way?”

How often do you catch yourself saying, “but” ?

–Angela