“He who can do this has the whole worked with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.”

Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.

The author starts with an example of him going fishing. He talks about how he likes strawberries and cream, but the fish prefer worms for bait. So he bought worms, because that’s what they want, not him.

So when we’re fishing for people, give them what they want, not what you want.

“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
– Henry Ford.

It’s childish to talk about what we want. Everyone is just like us, we are interested in what we want over what others want.

The author gives multiple examples of approaching situations by framing it in the other person’s point of view.

One example I felt stuck out the best was when the speaker was giving a conference at a hotel and after booking and selling tickets, the hotel tripled the price on him. He easily could have argued and yelled and complained, but instead he framed it as how the hotel would lose money if he went to do his conference somewhere else, not once complaining that he couldn’t afford it. They ended up lowering the price.

How many times do we want or argue when something doesn’t go our way, and how often does that actually work?

Think about when you’re checking your work emails. How often do you roll your eyes or ignore an email that seems more like a demand or after reading it you think, “how is that my problem?”

When you’re writing or talking to someone, don’t waste time talking about your problems. Get to see the other person’s point of view.

– Angela