No More Perfect Days

Sometimes, only sometimes, we plan things and everything goes accordingly. But a lot of other times, things don’t go according to plan and that is ok. One of the main takeaways with kids is to expect the unexpected. The author reminds us that people need time. Meaning, our relationships with people require time. Listening to someone requires time. Caring for others takes time. If you have that one kid that is forever curious, answering their million questions… it takes time.

How do you respond when things don’t go according to plan? We need to have perspective, always. Live in the moment. An example that hit it straight home for me, was when nap routines have an unexpected change… oh man! With twins, sleeping habits saved us our sanity. People criticize but unless you have multiples, you won’t get it. The answer is, be ready to be flexible.

When we have our schedules full and try to do everything, we miss out on life. It happens to me while writing these posts. Trying to write with the kids around? Good luck! We have plenty of distractions nowadays, from technology and social life (External) to our own feelings (Internal). Being present helps us live a meaningful life.

But also having boundaries is ok. Sometimes you have to say NO to things, in order to get your sanity back. When you try to do things and children are involved, you have to understand that it will take longer. When children are involved, everything takes longer. It might be worth reducing the amount of activities planned in a day, and that is ok.

Increase your margins. Financial margins. Buying groceries for a full family is different than when we are single. Emotional margins. You have to be emotionally stable to deal with kids’ breakdowns and tantrums. Physical margins. Being tired all the time or not well rested, will also have emotional implications. How useful would you be to your family if you are always tired?

With all this, the reminder from the chapter, at least for me is to be flexible. We can’t be too hard with ourselves. Parenting is hard. Struggles need to be normalized. Everyone has a struggle, you might just not be able to see it. The author says that expectations are bad. I think expectations are ok but we need to be flexible with them. We have to embrace our shortcomings. We have to embrace our imperfect days.

Denny

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